Space Robot Dodgeball: A History Through Inventions

It all began back in the Iron Age (approx. 1200 bc) - when regular people everywhere started using iron and steel to build common everyday household robots. (Not to mention that they would undoubtedly now also have ironing boards, so they could pretend to surf on them and imagine they were finally cool.)

Soon after this, Plato came along and invented thinking. Before this time, humans could not even figure out how to set the clock on their coffee machines, let alone conceive of throwing red balls at one another.

Then Aristotle hit the scene. He invented logic. The Vulcans especially liked this. And humans, well they all decided that this kind of reasoning had no place in any argument they were having.

Then Newton showed up one day and invented gravity. And with what did he choose to test this new invention? An apple!?!? (Well, at least it might have been red and somewhat round like a dodgeball.)

Then Galileo came along and invented space - the stars and planets and whatnot. Now humans finally had some stuff to wish upon. But not only did he invent space - he was also the inventor of projectile motion. Before this period in human history, throwing your empty bottles into your neighbour’s yard was next to impossible.

Then Babbage outdid them all and invented the computer. Finally, humans could fill their days playing Kwazy Cupcakes, and are now almost able to scroll down to the very bottom of their social advertisement feed.

Of course, then there was Einstein. He revolutionized the way we think about space, time, and gravity - which of course led directly to mankind's most ingenious invention - dodgeball. The sport that went on to teach countless young humans how to inflict pain and humiliation upon other young humans.

Then finally the greatest AI that was ever invented by the second greatest inventors to ever do inventing invents Space Robot Dodgeball. And now of course there is no further need for inventions, so you can forget about that cat-powered espresso machine you are constructing in your mother's basement - history is complete.